July 01, 2009
Sigh
Domino's Pizza, originally uploaded by bettybl.
I've been seeing commercials on TV lately for a new promotion by Domino's pizza: "city pizzas," which are limited-edition pizzas meant to reflect the culinary tradition of certain regions. So, we have a Philly Cheese Steak pizza, a Memphis BBQ pizza, and a Hawaiian pizza with pineapples and ham. After seeing these commercials, I had to go check to see if the obvious was there: a Buffalo pizza.
Would you believe it, there is? The Buffalo pizza, as far as I can tell, is a chicken pizza with buffalo wing sauce on it. All I can really say is, WTF? Contrary to popular belief, Buffalonians do not put chicken wing sauce on every item of food they consume. And a pizza with buffalo chicken on it is not a Buffalo pizza, just like a pizza with steak, onions and peppers is not a Philadelphia pizza.
Buffalo pizza is actually a thing of beauty. It's like a slice of New York pizza, but slightly thicker. A true Buffalo pizza is sliced in squares, and has cheese that bubbles just a little bit. Maybe I'm biased, but it's the best pizza in the world. I once read something where the author suggested Buffalo pizza is a hybrid of New York and Chicago pizza, seeing as Buffalo is between the two. But honestly, that makes no sense to me at all. Whatever its origins, I do know this: it doesn't have god damn authentic Anchor Bar sauce on it.
Domino's isn't the only national chain to make this idiotic link between wing sauce and non-chicken foods. I give you America's Dog, which offers this "Buffalo hot dog":
Buffalo Dog
Buffalo sauce, bleu cheese & celery salt.
Dear God. Really? I've reminisced about my love of hot dogs in the past, and it begins and ends with Ted's. And again, there is no wing sauce to be found.
I really don't know what else to say. Domino's? You suck. America's Dog? Get a clue. BW-3? You got it right.
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June 26, 2009
Oh dear
Michael Jackson, originally uploaded by Richard E. Aaron.
So, I just realized that when I wrote that post yesterday about surfing the Internet at 30,000 feet, it really should have gone like this:
In-flight wi-fi is great, now I don't have to worry about being isolated from the world for the three hours I'm in an airplane. Let's take a look at what's going on in the news, shall we? Ah, good ol' Yah - HOLY FUCKING SHIT MICHAEL JACKSON DIED!!!!!!!!
Seriously, if you want a kick in the gut, this will do it. It really is hard to believe that Michael Jackson is gone. At the same time, I think everyone will agree that this wasn't a surprise. Shocking, but not surprising.
He died way too early, and it's sad because he could have done so much more with his career. There's an instant comparison with other died-too-young musicians, namely Elvis and John Lennon. The only problem with this comparison, I think, is that Jackson hasn't been relevant for his music in nearly a decade. Elvis was performing weeks before he died; John Lennon was murdered a month before he had a new record coming out. If not at the height of fame, they were still firmly within the limelight. On the other hand, Jackson had devolved into a tabloid curiosity.
Jackson, of course, had those 50 sold-out shows in London upcoming, but who knows where they would have led? Maybe they would have set him off on a career resurgence, or maybe he would have fizzled like so many of his other comeback attempts. We'll never know what was in store next, and I think that is truly the saddest part.
When I was a youngin', Jackson was it. I can still remember when he would premiere music videos in primetime on Fox, after The Simpsons. Or when he would have blow-out Super Bowl half-time shows. If there is one good thing to come out of this, perhaps his legacy will be rehabilitated, and his legendary music will finally take precedence over his wacky persona. RIP, Michael.
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June 25, 2009
Cool!
Hey gang, so I'm currently writing to you from 35,000 feet in the air. We're traveling over the desert in NE New Mexico, and I'm typing away courtesy of wi-fi on my Southwest Airlines flight.
I was in San Diego for work, and the day before that I was in Tampa. The day before that, I was in Peoria. The week before, I was in Memphis. Yes, I'd say I've been pretty much everywhere at this point. It's tiring but rewarding, so I can't really complain too much.
The worst part about all this is that I've been stuck in incredibly hot places. In Memphis, it was 100 degrees at 11 in the morning. I had been given a convertible for a rental car, and it was so hot I couldn't even put the top down. Tampa was hell-like, and when I went for a run at 8 in the morning, the humidity was overwhelming.
But San Diego - ah, this was truly refreshing. The highs when I was there were 68 and 70 degrees, with no humidity in sight. I could walk places and run without fear of keeling over in a dehydrated stupor. If I could use one word to describe it, it was magnificent.
This all leads to my major point: I'm glad I live in Chicago. Our winters are long and sometimes oppressive, but the summers are mostly temperate, pleasant and bearable. What kind of life is it where you can't even go outside half the year because it's too hot? At least in a Chicago winter, I can dial up my scarf, throw on a heavy coat, and do what I need to do. So, Tampa, although it was nice to be there in March when it was a cool 70, you can take your summers and shove it.
Oh yeah, and it's all very meta of me that I'm able to track where I am, on the airplane, via this flight tracker. Boom!
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June 22, 2009
I'm speechless
This video is appearing in some ad on TV now, and I'm pretty much left slack-jawed everytime I see it.
I mean, that's incredible. Really, amazingly, incredible. The cat seems to be enjoying - or at least not hating - that he's scuba diving. Every cat I've know hates the water. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's a stereotypical cat thing. I really don't know what to say.
I have nothing.
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I hate Missouri Nazis!
As a general rule, Nazis, especially neo-Nazis, are regarded by polite society as idiots, sociopaths and delinquents. So, despite this, it was rather nice to read that some Neo-Nazis in Missouri took it upon themselves to sponsor a section of highway and keep it clean:
The state's litter prevention program got an unusual ally last year: A neo-Nazi group adopted a half-mile section of highway in Springfield and picked up the trash.
The state said it had no way to reject the group's application, saying membership in the Adopt-A-Highway program can't be denied because of a group's political beliefs.
Now, if you ask me, what's the problem here? Yes, they're Nazis, but I don't see where they're going to be planting Swastikas in the ground and putting up those Burma-shave style ads that say "Don't go to the movies/They're run by rich Jews/Who want to brain-wash youse/White power." Or something.
Anyway, the Missouri legislature isn't going to let the Missouri Nazis get away with this. As a symbolic repudiation the national socialists, they want to rename that particular stretch of highway:
Lawmakers responded with an amendment to a large transportation bill that would rename that section of road after Abraham Joshua Heschel, a rabbi who narrowly escaped the Nazis in World War II and later marched with the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.
Well-played, Missouri, well-played. I don't know how many organizations there are that want to clean up a highway, but why should they attempt to piss off and alienate somebody who wants to? Now, as I hope you may have guessed, I'm not a Nazi supporter at all - but, you know, this is America, and if somebody wants to be a Nazi, I can't really stop them. Nor should I.
And I don't see how letting Nazis clean a stretch of highway is an affront to civilization. I mean, we make criminals clean highways. These guys aren't criminals, and they can't?
I think what this comes down to, really, is who cares? I sure don't.
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June 15, 2009
Creative thinking
[Pic]
Anyway, one lady found a novel way to get her graduation over with quickly. This is a solution that was not available to me:
Expectant mother Dawn Thompson Ester thought she had gone into labor during Friday’s commencement at Columbus State University. So, she was moved up from No. 749 in the order for receiving degrees to first place in line.
Ester got her diploma and then rushed off the stage with one hand clutching the document and the other on her swollen belly. A medic with a stretcher was waiting to take her to the hospital.
Oh, giving birth, are we? You can't fool doctors that easily, lady! They busted her right away:
But it turned out the pains were just a false alarm, and the hospital sent her home.
They should have made her go back to the end of the line. Cheater!
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June 10, 2009
My wandering life
Underground parking and a car, originally uploaded by Markus Moning.
Dear Lord I've been working quite a bit! Tonight I'm in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, but I had some fun stuff happen to me a few nights ago, as I trolled around New York. I had to drive from Albany to Poughkeepsie and then back, a distance of about 80 miles each way.
As I picked up my rental car, I wasn't paying attention and nearly drove into the path of an oncoming PT Cruiser. I caught myself soon enough, but not soon enough that the guy driving the Cruiser laid on his horn. His horn honked an unusually long time, which is what I like to call the asshole honk because it's obviously meant to register displeasure as opposed to a warning that you're about to get clobbered. It's very rarely needed, and certainly not appropriate in my case.
Naturally, I honked back, as if to say "calm down Earnhardt, no need for that." Actually, between you and me, what I wanted to say was "f*ck you." But, his horn kept honking - that's right, his horn was stuck. I snickered, and then drove away, the bleeting of his horn echoing behind me as he tried to calm it.
Later that day, I was stopped at a rest area on the Thruway. Minding my own business, I looked up to see two grown men, one in a complete ballerina outfit, the other in a cheerleader outfit. They went into the bathroom, then got a snack at the McDonald's, and continued on their way.
On the other hand, today I was driving home from the office. There was a car stopped below an underpass, and a man was standing against the open door of his car. From a distance, it looked like he was peeing, but I was thinking there was no way a guy would pee against his car door. As I got closer, sure enough, I spied the telltale yellow stream. I really had to wonder why he chose that particular place and time to relieve himself - under an underpass, on a busy expressway, mere feet from a lane filled with cars. Oh yeah, and there were about 20 gas stations within a quarter of a mile from where he was. I've learned to stop asking.
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June 05, 2009
The Pitts
Morley's Dog, originally uploaded by snoopoz.
Hey gang, today I had to go work in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. This is a town I knew absolutely nothing about, except that it has bad luck with floods. I also heard that the movie Slap Shot, although set in the fictional Charleston, was based on Johnstown.
It all came together today. As I trudged around downtown Johnstown after I got done at court, I saw the statue you see above. It turns out to be "Morley's Dog," so named because it used to sit near the Morley House in Johnstown. It was washed away in the 1889 flood, only to be found later that day.
Meanwhile, a legend grew that a dog had been seen saving children from the flood. Soon, people began to say the statue was a depiction of that dog. Of course, that is not true, but it's a funny story. As you can see, the statue now occupies a prominent place in downtown Johnstown, as a sort of reminder of the flood or something.
Anyway, back to Slap Shot. There is this famous exchange in the movie, which now that I have been to Johnstown, makes 100% perfect sense:
Lily Braden: What's the story on that dog?Oh, and to get to Johnstown, I had to go through Pittsburgh. Now that is a town with some bad traffic, relatively speaking. Better than Chicago, of course, but much worse than I expected. Hence the title of this post.
Reggie Dunlop: That's the dog that saved Charleston from the 1938 flood.
Lily Braden: Well fuck him.
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June 01, 2009
In lighter news
That's my car, Yoshi, on one of his least glorious days. Actually, speaking of that day, I recently got new car insurance, and they tried to add $100 to my rate because they heard the accident depicted above was my fault. Yeah, idiots, it was my fault, considering the car was legally parked on the street! Luckily I have evidence in the form of a police report and a note from the driver who, incidentally, left a fake number.
Anyway, when I read this story, my immediate thought was, this is something that would happen to my car.
A car traveling on a motorway in Switzerland lost all four wheels simultaneously, coming to an immediate halt in the middle of the highway, police said on Saturday.
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A telling quote
Edifice 9 | City Hall, originally uploaded by afunkydamsel.
In the wake of the disastrous Chicago parking meter deal, some aldermen are proposing a new ordinance that would require a 15-day waiting period before votes on the sale of public assets over $100 million. This comes after Mayor Daley made an agreement to lease the meters to a private company for $1.2 billion over 75 years, and then gave the City Council two days to consider it. The response? It passed by a 40-5 vote.
As part of the deal, the new company doubled and tripled rates in many areas. Shenanigans ensued. Then some more ensued.
Now City Council wants to review the whole thing, despite the fact they were the yahoo's who approved the deal after barely looking it over. Smooth move, ex lax.
The 15-day waiting period is just a way to make sure something like this can't happen again. Predictable, some aldermen aren't for this new ordinance. One is Bernie Stone, who's been an alderman longer than most of us have been alive. Here's what he had to say about it:
"If there are insufficient facts, you say, 'There are insufficient facts, we need more time,' " Ald. Bernard Stone (50th) said. "Are we children, that we need these hard and fast rules?"
Really? You tell me. You sell the meters for 75 years, with barely thinking about, because Daley basically decided that's what he wanted. If City Council wants to stop acting like Daley's stooges, then yes, maybe you can stop being treated like children.
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